How I learned that feeling lonely is a decision...
And how you can turn that decision into never feeling lonely again
Last year August my relationship came to an end.
As this happened I got thrown into this whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that I couldn’t find a place for straight away.
In this process I realised 1 very important thought arising.
The thought of being lonely.
After hours and hours of thinking till the point there was nothing more to think about I arrived at a conclusion, its time to start writing down all these thoughts.
In that moment my mind wanted me to visit one particular spot close to my childhood home.
I picked up my notebook and instead of dumbing my brain out on the paper I decided to ask myself a long list of questions that have made me go through this storm for so long.
One of the questions was: “Why do I feel so lonely?”
After writing down all the questions I closed my notebook and went home.
The next day I arrived back at the exact same spot and I opened my notebook to start working through all the questions I had asked myself the day before.
The question “Why do I feel so lonely?” appeared and at this very moment a realisation came to my mind that has changed my life ever since.
Being alone is the result of not opening up to the world around me
All this time I have made my ex-girlfriend the one and only source of sharing information about any and everything and this got me to feel lonelier than I ever did…
Here is my 5 step guide in how to solve feeling alone in the next 5 minutes:
Write down the following question: “Why do I feel lonely?”
Answer this question honestly by writing the answer based on the immediate thoughts that come to mind.
Close your notebook and think of who you want to share X topic. (this could be someone you already share topics with or might have to start sharing topics with.)
Call that person up and share what is on your mind.
Your mind will turn that feeling of loneliness into a strong connection.
“But it cannot be that easy”, “This doesn’t work for me”
What if I tell you that deep within you being closed off to the world creates a feeling of loneliness, would that be confronting?
On a very deep level we all want to feel the connection with others but often find many different reasons to not do so.
By going out to:
a language exchange
a dance lesson
your local night market
You will find tons of people that would be happy to connect and this will immediately decrease the level of loneliness you experience by a full 100%.
Loneliness is the decision of not opening yourself up to the people you should be open to, and by doing so locking yourself into the box with this horrible feeling…
Its time to put all those thoughts of not doing something aside and go for it with full intend, once we take the step unforeseeable magical situations tend to arise.
Now its time to take action, if you feel lonely its time to call that one person on your mind and share your thoughts and see what happens!
Nino, Out